Nothing to Say.

I really hate getting teeth pulled. Really, really, hate it. The whole process is just hideous. First, I had to drive almost an hour to do it, the whole time trying not to let on how anxious I was to my "husband" and child. I failed. Then, once I was in the chair, I had to wait another 30 minutes before they did anything while listening to a small boy scream bloody murder, begging his mom for them to stop whatever they were doing to him, which was most likely the reason I was waiting so long, and also didn't help me to feel any less anxious. Of course, I may mention at this point that this was my fourth and final appointment for getting my wisdom teeth pulled. I had this crazy idea that since I was pregnant when they pulled the first one, that it would be nice to just get them done one at a time. Well, I was kicking myself for that brilliant idea while I was waiting for that *&!$#%@ needle to come numb my mouth. I debate what's worse...the pain of the shots to numb your mouth, or the pain after the numbness wears off. Then again, the numbness itself is rather terrible. Ahh, it's all bad!
Anyway, my dentist, who is the Ukrainian, or Russian or somewhere foreign, finally comes in and starts laughing at me for doing my teeth one at a time, like he had no input in this matter before. (HellO! It was partly your idea!) "Ah, you do one, you do all. It doesn't matter. It all hurt the same. He he he he!!!" (You have to imagine his accent to get the full effect.) Then he starts shooting my mouth up, and keeps shining the light right in my eyes which totally ruins my attempts at zen-ing out by watching Bonnie Hunt on the over-head television. I couldn't hear it anyway, but she's pretty fun just to watch. So he ridiculously over-numbs my mouth to the point that I'm drooling everwhere...and then leaves again! I started to think that I was never gonna get outa there and started contemplating sneaking out and leaving. But then he finally gets back and starts pulling and prying just like he did with the first three, but no matter how hard I tried focusing on what was now the unenjoyable Rachel Ray, I couldn't help noticing (not feel, mind you) that it wasn't coming out as easy as the others had. Try as I might to "Just relax, Jennifer. I might break your other teeth if you are too tense," I found it hard to follow those directions and I think did the opposite. Especially when he pulled this scary looking drill thing out of the cupboard. I didn't sign up for that! But of course you can't exactly get up and walk out at that point. So, while pieces of my bone started flying, I started anticipating the pain that I just knew had to come with such a torture device. No wonder that poor kid had been screaming! But alas, no pain...and even when it was over, no extra pain meds than usual. Oh well.
So I'm home now, and I'm still numb 5 hours later. My ear feels like its on fire, and I still have a perpetual leak out of the corner of my mouth. But I'm finally back in my own bed, my "husband" has the baby on some errands, and I just took a Vicodin. Life's not as bad as it seems in the middle of getting a tooth pulled, but it's not super great right after either! Still theres always a bright side if you want to see it. And for me, it's that I don't ever have to do that again! Starting when my gum is healed, I'm going to floss more than a thong on a Victoria's Secret model.

Some tortures are physical
And some are mental,
But the one that is both
Is dental.

~Ogden Nash